Real Talk with Rowan. Real questions. Thoughtul answers. A fresh perspective.

Sometimes a healthier outlook begins with a different way of seeing things.I’m constantly worried about getting older.

How do I stop thinking about everything that could go wrong?

I think the first thing to remember is that getting older isn’t something that is happening to you it’s something you’re being given the opportunity to experience. None of us knows exactly what tomorrow will bring, and spending today worrying about every possible thing that could go wrong means we miss the things that are going right.

You can’t control every year ahead of you, but you can control what you do with today. Pay attention to the people you love. Enjoy the little things. Learn something new. Laugh when you can. Take care of yourself. Don’t let fear of the future steal the present from you.Getting older also means gaining experiences, perspective, and wisdom that you didn’t have before. Instead of asking, “What could go wrong?” sometimes ask yourself, “What could still go right?I have a stressful job and feel like I’m always carrying tension.

How can I change my mindset?

Stress has a way of convincing us that everything is urgent and everything is ours to carry. It isn’t.

When I’m overwhelmed, I try to separate what I can actually do something about from what I can’t. If there’s something I can change, I focus on the next step instead of worrying about the entire problem. If there’s something I can’t control, I remind myself that worrying about it won’t give me control it will only take away my peace.

I also think it’s important to give yourself permission to leave work at work, at least mentally. Your job is something you do. It isn’t everything you are.                                                                                                                            

Sometimes changing your mindset isn’t about becoming positive all the time. It’s simply learning to say, “This is difficult, but I don’t have to let it consume me.”Take the next breath. Do the next thing. Then let tomorrow take care of itself.

I’ve lost some of the things that used to define me. Who am I now?

You’re still you.

That’s probably the simplest answer, but sometimes it’s the hardest one to believe.We often attach our identity to our jobs, relationships, accomplishments, possessions, or the roles we play in other people’s lives. When one of those things disappears, it can feel like we’ve lost a piece of ourselves. 

But maybe you haven’t lost yourself. Maybe you’ve been given the opportunity to discover the parts of yourself that were there all along.

You are not only what you accomplished. You’re not only the position you held, the person you were with, or the things you had. You’re also your character, your memories, your kindness, your sense of humor, your resilience, and the way you keep going when life doesn’t turn out the way you expected.

.Sometimes life changes the labels we have for ourselves.

That doesn’t mean our story is over. It means we get to decide what the next says.